


It's a love-hate kind of thing.

by Khloconut



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Torture, Denial, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-28 21:58:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15058685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khloconut/pseuds/Khloconut
Summary: Hermione and Ron are growing increasingly worried about Harry and his random outbursts of magic that are becoming all too common and which were becoming increasingly dangerous. So when Draco and Harry have a fight that ends with Harry almost draining his magic and Draco lucky to be alive, The teachers decide to take action. Will the boys be forced to overcome their differences or grow even further apart?I don't know what tags to put so they will be updated throughout :)Slow-burn but eventual smut





	1. From the end spring new beginnings.

**Author's Note:**

> I first posted this chapter 3 years ago, writing it on my shitty phone and in between exams, now i have loads of free time and have updated everything. So can hopefully keep posting :) i really hope you all enjoy. xx  
> (if so leave a comment, or even if you didn't enjoy it then at least i know what to do in the future) 
> 
> Also these are not my characters! all rights etc... belong to JK our queen

Splat!

Harry scowled as another spitball hit the back of his ear. Today was not his day, first he'd lost 40 points for Gryffindor in potions then he'd got a detention from Flitwick for forgetting his charms homework, so now he had Hermione telling him how “he should've done it earlier than the night before” and how it was “just justice really”. And finally, to top it all off, some prat was trying to push him over the edge.  
Splat!

That was it. 7 spitballs! 7 for Christ sake! Enough was enough. Jumping up from his seat, he turned behind him, ignoring McGonagall's shocked exclamation and Ron's 'Bloody hell Harry, is it your scar?'. His emerald eyes narrowed dangerously as he scanned the faces of the pupils around him trying to look for the culprit. The table quivered beneath his back, legs bouncing on the stone floor as his frustration grew. His hair whipped around his face with a wind that wasn’t there, whilst his eyes seemed to burn a threatening emerald fire that blazed dangerously in his sockets. Harry was so annoyed he didn’t notice the look of fear on the other pupils' faces or how they moved away from him.  
There. A streak of blinding blond hair caught his eye and he zoned in on the only unafraid and laughing face.  
Malfoy.

Malfoy looked up levitating a spitball clearly ready to fire another one with his wand when he caught Harry's gaze. Malfoy’s eye flitted to either side of Harry and he seemed to quickly take in the small hurricane of quills and paper swirling behind Harry, the angry look on Harry’s face and quietly muttered ‘incendio’ making the ball of spit burst into flames. Harry continued to glare at him ignoring Hermione who was tugging on his sleeve urging him to stop disrupting the lesson and Harry made sure Malfoy was looking back at him before he mouthed the words 'you're dead' before sitting down with words of apology to his friends and brushing off their worried looks.  
“Fucking hell Harry! What the hell was that?” Ron whispered seemingly oblivious to McGonagall’s stare. “what was what?” Harry asked confused but still irritated. But before Ron could respond he was silenced by Hermione promptly telling them to shut up. 

Draco sunk back into his chair and swallowed hard. If there was one thing you really didn't want, it was a pissed off Harry bloody Potter -fucking boy wonder! -Screaming for your blood. Draco paused, maybe he was overdoing it a bit, what's the worst that could happen? It is only Potter and they were in school and surely no matter how ticked off Potter was even he wouldn't risk an unforgivable...would he? Draco had heard the story from his mother about how Sirius Black had passed a few months ago and that the escaped prisoner and Potter were close but surely even Potter wouldn't be so stupid as to allow his emotions to get so out of hand that he ended up getting expelled. Draco's mind wandered back to those two mouthed words. He gulped and sighed sweeping a hand over his furrowed brow trying to smooth the creases he found there. Oh well, he thought glumly only two hours until lunch then I'll know for sure. Sighing he tried to remember all the attack and defensive spells Snape had taught him. Because one thing he knew for sure was that if he was going down, he was going down swinging. And after all, he wasn't about to give up a fight with the only person who endlessly agitated him and especially not when the opportunity to break Potters perfect nose had been Potter’s own stupid idea. Nope, he grinned at the thought and prepared another spitball ignoring Pansy and Blaise’s shared eye roll.

\--------------

"Bloody hell Harry! What in Merlin's name was that?!" Ron exclaimed as soon as they left the classroom. Hermione tutted at his loud voice but looked at Harry with the same questioning look.   
Harry stepped back his voice uneasy "what was what?". He took another wary step back as he saw both Ron and Hermione's jaws drop.  
" you mean... you? You didn't mean to?" Hermione tried to regain the ability to speak.   
Harry sighed and threw his hands up in exasperation "what!? Do what???"  
Now Hermione seemed at loss of what to say so Ron quickly filled him in on the mini-storm Harry had created, finishing it with " -mate that was some heavy wandless and you didn't even try to! Amazing mate bloody brilliant! Hermione's been trying for years and here you are and you did it without even batting an eyelid!"  
He broke down chortling and missed the way Hermione's eyes narrowed. She cleared her throat as if to remind Ron that she was there and continued to say-  
" obviously harry we need to look into it, it could be dangerous, you could hurt someone!" Suddenly both Ron and Harry sobered and stopped planning the countless pranks.  
"I'm sure it’s not 'Mione..." Harry tried to soothe her.  
"Oh! You’re sure, are you? Tell me Harry have you ever even attempted wandless? You realise it takes years of training and can kill either the caster or the victims involved, Harry you can’t just mess around with this, people can get hurt, you could end up in Azkaban, or expelled!” She sighed and paused whilst she closed her eyes, clearly deep in thought “So, what brought this on we know that you... no offence but lose control when your emotions are running high so maybe Sirius' death triggered this specific chain reaction which -"Harry's eyes glazed over and his jaw clenched at the mention of his godfather.   
"Oh, Harry I’m sorry I didn’t think I -" Hermione embraced Harry and Harry let one tear slide before pulling back. "its fine mione' I just need… Time.” He shrugged he hated appearing weak in front of anyone, even them, maybe especially them. He knew he was supposed to be the boy wonder, the chosen one he knew the wizarding world was watching and he couldn’t afford to let them down not like he’d let Sirius down. Shaking his head, he announced, “Anyway, let’s go I’m starving!" Harry laughed trying to lighten the mood. Hermione smiled sadly but Ron dropped the subject and eagerly joined Harry in debating which was better Treacle tart or blueberry muffins. And so, the golden trio walked laughing up to the welcoming castle that they called home.


	2. Hell on earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my characters etc... all rights to JK,  
> Enjoy :)

Harry with a scream, gasping for breath, he was hot and sweaty and struggling to breathe with tears running down his face and his gasps getting caught in his sobs. He looked down and realized that the charm he'd set had woke him. It was an awakening and silencing charm that surrounded his bed ensuring he would wake up if his magic getting too strong which could cause the silencing charm to break. His watch was buzzing and flashing red indicating that it was the time to get up but Harry just ignored it and recollected what he could remember of his dream.

It had started as it always does: with the tell-tale flash of green and his mothers’ screams then it flashes forward to the second flash of green and a second body: Cedric. Finally, it had moved to a quieter scene but one with more heartbreak than the rest. He watched frozen as Sirius fell through the veil. Then he ran. He ran for what seemed like hours but he still turned up on that ledge with the veil behind him, it was just like every single dream, he was never fast enough. Suddenly 4 figures appeared all looking shallow and grisly, they were corpses, old and decaying. Their skin a grey chalky color and was peeling off. Their faces were blank, unforgiving, and shallow, their mouths clamped shut with what little remained of their lips. Their eyes were blank and dull. They walked towards him and he flinched backward only to find he was held in place.  
"Don't you recognize me? ...no? how sad? You can’t even recognise your own mother?" One grimly asked before grinning creepily with rotting teeth and strands of grimy hair framing the horrific face.  
"No mum...?" He looked around at the advancing familiar figures "Dad?... Cedric...I'm sorry...oh god...Sirius? you-you can't be here your dead!! " Harry half sobbed, half screamed clawing at his scalp and face in despair.  
"Yes, you let us die" they whispered eerily closing in on him.  
No that wasn't right. He'd tried but he couldn't do anything more! They couldn't blame him it was Voldemort’s fault, not his!  
Harry tried to choke out this weak explanation but the corpses just stumbled closer until they were upon him grinning until they pushed him gently through the veil where he fell. He fell for what seemed like seconds but in reality, was probably only an hour until finally, he hit the floor. This was where the dream changed. Harry normally woke here sweating and panting but this time...this time it was different he was still he here, held in this void space away from the waking world.  
It was red and dark and hot and the air was filled with screams and wails. He could hear the foreshadowing eerie sound of knives being sharpened over the noise.  
Getting slowly to his feet he realized that he had no injuries. In any other circumstance, it would be a miracle but Harry knew better. Next, he felt for his wand only to find that he was in a strange scratchy shirt and shorts and most importantly His wand was nowhere in sight. He gulped as the full situation sunk in. He was alone with no means of protecting himself in a place which seemed like nowhere he'd ever been before. And those ghosts or whatever the fuck they were could be after him still.  
Shit.  
It was bad.  
And that was before two long thick chains rose quickly from the floor and secured his legs. Then another two secured his arms before lifting him into the air.  
Yelping harry scrambled to free himself but he made no progress apart from using his small reserve of energy. Slumping his head rolled as all energy seemed to be drained from him. Seconds later or perhaps hours, it was hard to tell, a cold breeze brushed his chin pushing it up and a leather strap circled and then tightened holding his head back and up. Harry opened his eyes and tried desperately to reach for his wandless magic which seemed stored behind a wall in his mind. But the wall refused to break. Angry Harry growled his frustration.  
“Tut tut tut now that just won't do...” A middle-aged nasally male voice sounded close to his ear and he strained to see the figure. “Now c’mon harry this doesn't have to be hard... You do have a way out of this.... torture with me harry... I will teach you everything I know we can destroy together, think of it Harry don’t be rash, no more prophecy no more expectations” the voice dropped lower and his breath was heavy. Harry just spat in his direction. To torture or to be tortured what kind of choice was that?? The voice just sighed. 'Very well...oh one more thing I'm Alistair just so you know.... for when you scream” the voice now recognized as Alistair chuckled darkly before the sound of sharpening knives filled the air.  
“I had another pupil just like you, you know” with this he dragged the sharp blade from Harry's right shoulder to his left hip. Harry's legs buckled but he refused to cry out instead he just replied in a raspy voice to distract himself “Oh yeah?” Immediately he gritted his teeth as the blade sliced down his right arm. “Oh yes, he was the bravest little soul, a righteous man” here he chuckled  
“he fought for a long time but in the end....” He paused.  
“How longs a long time?” Harry choked cautiously unaware as to if he actually wanted an answer. “Oh, 30 years,” Alistair said as casually as if he was describing something as boring and normal as the weather.  
“And in the end?” As soon as the words left his mouth Harry kicked himself. He didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know.  
“oh him... I carved him into a new animal” this was spoken directly into his ear. Harry flinched away but Alistair just chuckled.  
“Harry?” He asked in a sarcastically sweet voice.  
“What...?” Harry bit back a groan. Suddenly a hand was yanking his hair back and the knife was at his throat.  
“scream for me”  
"Never."  
The blade sliced and sliced until there was there seemed to be nothing left and then Alistair would heal him and it would start again for the next day and the next and the next. Every day new horrors faced him and his groans split the air like the blood dripping to the floor. But still, he would not scream much to the irritation and eventual anger or Alistair.  
“So brave, so strong, don’t worry Harry We’ll break you soon” Alistair chuckled and the room went dark. And finally, he would awake from this hell. 

Shuddering he wiped the fresh tears from his face and took in a deep shaky breath. It had felt so real. He could still feel the chill of the blade. Hear Alistair's cruel laugh. Gripping his hair, he repeated firmly that it was only a dream and not real. Not real. Not....real. Real. He didn't believe it. Not one word. To him, it was real even if it was only in his head. Trying to gather some strength he sat up plastered on a smile and got ready to face Ron.

\----------------------------------------------

Draco got increasingly jumpy as the term continued and there was still no sign of Potters’ retribution. That is until one morning, Draco realised with a jolt that he was angry. Angry at Potter for making him wait as if he had more important things to do before beating up Draco. How dare he! The cheek of it! Well, Draco would show him. Nobody ignores a Malfoy! It’s typical of him, He has the perfect life I mean sure you know who is after him but hey it could be worse. He's in Gryffindor he's the golden boy. He's the chosen one. The boy who lived. Boy wonder. Voted witches Waverly’s hottest wizard (how on earth they came up with that idea Draco had no idea!) The ladies loved him. He didn't have any pressure from his parents.... then again, he didn't have any parents...Draco sobered. No, he refused to feel guilty, he quickly reminded himself that he hates Potter. Maybe he should use that against him... His parents’ death. Ouch, that's cold. Hm, maybe after all this has blown over. Yawing Draco sat up and clambered ungracefully out of bed shaking his bed hair out of his eyes. Maybe he'd have some fun with Potter today. Speed up the inevitable i.e. potters fist in his face. Urgh. Then he grinned maliciously and thought about the new jinx he'd learned from the restrictive section and thought that maybe just maybe he actually had a chance. And with that, he left the dorms heading to the showers.

 

The first thing Draco noticed when he finally made it downstairs was that his 'favorite' Gryffindor was missing. Frowning he sat and reached for a bagel. Damn, he was gonna start with the operation: ape (Annoy Potter E... well, he didn't need an e but this way it spelled ape so...). Sighing he bit into the cheesy bagel and reached for the pumpkin juice before meeting Blaise’s eyes. “What?” Draco asked.  
“Nothing you just have that 'I'm gonna piss someone off' look in your eyes but hey as long as it’s not me then go get 'em, tiger... Wait hang on that looks normally reserved for...oh crap you're not gonna wind up Potter, are you? Look, I heard he didn't sleep so he's pissed already so just- oh what the hell you don't listen to me anyway!" Blaise facepalmed at his friends’ stupid bravery but Draco didn't seem unnerved in fact he seemed to smile.  
"where do you find out this stuff? Like seriously his sleeping patterns?" He asks with a chuckle. Blaise just winked and walked off, Draco rolled his eyes at his friends’ dramatics and then sent a glare to the first years to show that he wasn't going soft. Gulping they scampered off. Draco smirked and reached for the toast until BANG!

The great hall doors flew open and smashed against the walls. In between them there stood a lone figure with flashing emerald eyes. As everyone turned to stare he walked slowly to his table without shrinking under their eyes like he normally did. Now Draco isn’t one to stare but damn Potter looked like hell on earth. His dancing eyes were circled with black and his hair was worse than before, which is saying something, and he'd forgotten his glasses. His lips were cracked and swollen as if he'd been in an intense make-out session and his uniform well it wasn't even on not really, his shirt was buttoned up wrong showing his abs and the sleeves were rolled up and stretched across his broad shoulders the shirt looked like it was about to rip. The waistline of his Calvin Klein underwear was even showing. At this Draco felt the blood rush to his face. He looked around and realized all the girls were almost drooling and some of the boys too! Wow, Potter really needed to get laid soon, he hoped then all the fuss around the boy wonder and his newly found height and broad-ness would die down. Dropping his eyes, Draco picked apart his bagel before slumping down on the bench.

\-----_--------------

Ugh, what a morning! First Harry had missed his shower slot and had had to give an autograph to a first year to get his spot. And of course, by then he was running majorly late! He'd raced to the dorm only to find that someone had taken his uniform. So, he had to borrow Seamus' spare shirt which he threw on and he clambered into Ron's trousers as he sprinted to the hall. Hurriedly he tried to button his shirt and to pull up his trousers but nothing seemed to co-operate he yanked at his hair in frustration and came to a sudden stop as he realized he'd forgotten his glasses. Oh well too late now. He carried on running only to run straight off one of the staircases as they decided to move. Yelling he fell through the air and tried to get to his wand. Thankfully he hadn't forgotten that! Quickly he muttered the spell and his flight slowed. Releasing the spell, he collapsed in a heap right in front of Snape. Oh, Merlin could this get any worse??  
"Potter what on earth do you think you're are doing? 50 points from Gryffindor" he drawled in his slimy voice.  
"Are you fucking seriou- Um nothing I didn’t-" Harry exclaimed at his bad luck before realising who he was talking to and quickly back peddling. "Well well, Potter swearing at a teacher? Another 50 gone, goodbye Potter" and with that, he slinked away back to the dungeons smirking. The gods must hate me Harry thought angrily. What did he do to deserve any of this?!? He marched forward and subconsciously reached for his magic. He blew the doors open only just refraining from blowing them clean off and stood there taking in the shocked faces staring back at him then slowly he walked to where Hermione and Ron were sat looking flabbergasted. He refused to bow under the hundreds of eyes and kept his head held high.   
Today was going to be a long fucking day.

\-------------------------------


	3. Boiling Point

Draco sauntered down to that so-called oaf Hagrid's 'lesson' (can you really call it that!?) And he smirked as he saw Potter wander down still in that god-awful uniform (at least it was done up properly now) by himself. This was it! Mission ape was a go. He was alone and vulnerable! This was the perfect time to strike hard and to strike fast. Draco waited excitedly for Potter to reach the edge of the forest and opened his mouth to start spouting the lines he’d come up with earlier which were sure to wind Potter up. Only to be interrupted by that oaf walking past and clapping Potter on the shoulder. Muttering Draco backed away and waited for his opportunity. There! Potter was alone again! Finally! He walked over to Potter and shoved his arm.  
"Dear dear potty did all your friends realize how much of an idiot you are and leave you?" Potter didn't react.  
"Hey now maybe ronnickins got jealous again or did you and the hairball break up?" Now Potters eye twitched. Brilliant here it comes. When Potter just glared off into the distance and still didn’t react, Draco lashed out.   
"Maybe Voldemort killed your parents because that way they wouldn't have to live with a disappointment of a son like you" at this Draco stopped he'd gone too far. He knew it. He'd fucking crossed and danced on the other side of the line. He shrank back and waited for the hit only to find it didn't come. He looked at Potter questioningly.  
Potter just shrugged and replied-  
"At least they died before seeing that, yours had to put up with you their whole life.... maybe that's why Voldemort hasn't freed your father yet I bet Lucius is having some nice relaxation time away from you" Potter drawled in a dry mocking voice.  
No.  
He didn't.  
Draco saw red. Fine, he wanted to fight dirty then he'd fight dirty. He opened his mouth only to find he couldn't speak-  
"Quiet back there Malfoy" Hagrid's voice boomed over to them and Harry replied  
"yes sir I'm very sorry sir I didn't mean to its just now my daddy's’ gone I’m attention seeking" Draco was stunned. Potter had used his voice, it was as if he'd said that! The whole class turned to look at him and still unable to speak which he guessed was Potters doing, he glared at them all.  
The charm broke and as the class turned around to face the front all giggling, Draco leaned into Harry's hair which smelt not like he was expecting: oaky but with a tinge of sweetness from what he guessed was from his shampoo and whispered-  
"Oh it is on Potter"  
He could feel Potter trembling and heard him swallow loudly. He internally chuckled until he felt Potters peppermint smelling breath dance over his face and he realized that he was still really close to him. Startled he pulled back. Trying to regain himself he sent him a glare and the finger and brushed the blonde hair out his eyes.

And so, it began.   
The threat and grounds were silently laid... a free for all.  
And yet.... nothing happened.  
For a couple days after the threat and palaver down at Hagrid's the tension grew and grew between the two boys, both ignoring the other as they prepared for the hell that they both knew was growing ever nearer. But both boys didn't even so much as look at the other, both didn’t comment on the other and the school was pleasantly calm for a week or two. After the five days mark the teachers became anxious and weary, McGonagall called a meeting.  
All the teachers gathered around the small staff table each squeezing past each other and struggling to find a seat until McGonagall walked in and stared at them all sighing loudly.  
"oh for the love of...you're teachers, are you not?" she waited until all their eyes were on her and they all nodded.  
"And you are all witches or wizards, are you not?" again they nodded avoiding her stern gaze, they flinched embarrassed as she threw her hands into the air   
"well for Merlins sake somebody enlarge the table and transfigure some chairs!" she muttered profanities under her breath then looked around at them all now sitting comfortably around the table.   
All the staff was present except, of course, Dumbledore. She gazed around at them all, "okay so we all know that we need to nip this is in the bud, stop it before it starts”. Most nodded but others looked confused, Professor Trelawny spoke up "sorry...stop what?" she asked in her normal floaty voice her bug eyes blinking questioningly.   
McGonagall sighed "surely you have noticed or foreseen" she mocked, "the storm brewing between young Potter and Malfoy" now all teachers nodded.  
"maybe...maybe they've got past old hatred and moved on?" Flitwick asked hopefully. All the teachers laughed and Flitwick blushed and shrugged. Snape's slimy voice rose above the chatter that had broken out, McGonagall barely held back her shiver of disgust at the man, "as much as we all wish that...none of us are befuddled enough to think that that is what is happening here... obviously they are planning and preparing...for what Merlin knows, but whatever it is it won’t be pleasant...I blame potter entirely he has to forcing Draco to-"   
" Oh, shut up Severus! sorry...I just meant to say that clearly, both boys are clearly main participants and yes...what you said prior was correct my fellow teachers we must be ready...for the storm almost upon us...winter is coming" All the teachers gulped but the muggle studies teacher burst out laughing drawing the eyes of the other "sorry, but you just quoted game of Thrones and-" she stopped laughing and silenced fidgeting in the hard chair under McGonagall’s scowl.  
"We must be ready...We must hold fast. Okay, class is about to start so." she waved a hand to dismiss them and they stood in a flurry and started towards the door chattering quietly. McGonagall sat on the desk and sighed running a hand on her brow wearily, hold fast...be ready she thought making it a mantra in her head. She knew to other teacher’s it may seem over-dramatic, to them they were mere children in the middle of a spat and yet she thought of Harry's past and what had happened only months prior and silently wished Draco all her luck, He was going need it. 

\-------------------------------------------------------- 

Harry sighed as he settled in his seat ready for potions, he barely spared the blonde head a glance as he chatted to Hermione and Ron both sat next to him.  
The lesson had only just started when he heard Malfoy and his cronies start jeering and laughing at the Gryffindors then something happened. Something that marked the start of it all.  
"Hey Potter, Oi Potter! " Malfoy shouted laughing, Harry turned slowly to face him with a dry grin.  
"Malfoy" He replied as a way of greeting.  
Malfoy laughed " hey Potty de-de-dementor!" Harry just stared at him.  
"Wow...can you really not think of some new insults? " Harry feinted a look of shock.  
Around him, the Gryffindors laughed and sniggered. Malfoy stayed composed and raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh boy wonder I'm only just getting started" he smirked.  
Harry relaxed back into his seat as Snape walked over and broke up the whispering. He just smiled as Snape took 20 points because of him. Ah, finally it had begun. Now let's see if Malfoy can give as good as Harry was hoping he would. No boundaries. No rules. No interference from friends, hmm come to think of it Malfoy reminded him of 'the dark lord'. Harry laughed to himself as Snape walked away knowing even Malfoy was not stupid enough to start anything major with Snape present. For the first time in days, Harry felt relaxed. Oh, the game was on.

\---------------—–------------------

The pair bickered through the rest of potions and transfiguration and defense against the dark arts. Nothing too serious just small jibes and yet the student and teachers alike could tell the explosion was just under the surface. That evening Draco was walking to the hall when Severus emerged from -seemingly- the shadows.  
"come with me boy..." he cut off the Draco’s arguments about needing food. "enough! Come" he pulled Draco down the corridor and down to the dungeons to his office.  
" you need to call this off...now Draco" he spat angrily.  
" what?" Draco looked away angry " call what- you can't tell me what to do!" He walks towards the door. Snape almost growls and with a flick of his wand the door shuts and locks. Draco glanced at it and glared at the man who had basically raised him.  
"let me go" he continues glaring at Severus.  
"Draco stop this you can't-Potter is dangerous -"  
" you can't tell me what to do. You're not my father " Draco spits at him then grabbing his wand from his pocket uncharming the door and storming out. Snape sat there stunned staring at the wall. He's not your son Severus, you need to remember it. He thinks to himself. But damn it'd be a lot better for both of you if he was. Scowling Snape stood and then joined the teachers at the head table in the main hall.

\------------------------

The jokes and jibes were seemingly good-natured and continued for two days until the both of them shared potions. Draco ran into the classroom and sat at the only free table: right at the front. He smiled to himself as he heard the bell ring just seconds later and looked around the class. Both weasel and hairball were present but boy wonder wasn't. Draco raised an eyebrow as weasel caught his eye but the ginger just flipped him the finger scowling, he looked worried though. Draco grinned oh brilliant was Potter ill? Or hurt? His grin slipped well that was Draco's job! That's not fair! He pouted unconsciously as he riffled through his bag to pull out the workbook, he looked up and realised why everyone was chatting: Snape was late! He grinned. Speaking of the devil just seconds later the door flew open and the slimy man strode in with his cape (well okay it was a long robe but it looked like a cape! Honest!) Flying behind him, immediately the class silenced and Draco could have sworn he felt the temperature drop 20 degrees. Damn, he had to give it to Snape, he knew how to make an entrance. Snape sighed and glared at them all then he opened his mouth about to begin when the potions door opened and a mop of messy black hair meekly peered around before the boy himself entered. Potter looked around desperately and saw the only spare seat: right next to Draco. No no no this was not happening! Potter seemed to share the same opinion and desperately started searching again only to come to the same conclusion as Draco. There was no-where else. And although, they’d managed to not kill each other so far, an hour and a half basically alone together. Draco knew would be too much. He didn’t feel excited though, just dejected, he was having fun teasing Potter, letting the tension build. But he knew as Potter shuffled towards him that he would have to bring his A-game, So he settled in for what was sure to be a long lesson.


	4. Fire burn and cauldron bubble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hope youre enjoying the story so far. For those of you wondering it will probably be like 25 chapters long? im not 100% sure yet, just seeing where it will take us. I hope youre enjoying and if so leave a kudos and a comment, if not leave a comment so i know what to change :) <3 i will always try to respond to you guys

Harry glanced at the blonde and sat with a huff, he slouched into his chair and looked up only to be met with Snape's look of intense pleasure. He groaned and watched Snape's smile grow even bigger.  
"now Potter...is this your class?" Harry shook his head "No".  
"no, what Potter?"  
"no it’s not my class...sir" Harry mock bowed.  
Snape glowered at him and looked around the class, all eyes were fixed on them fascinated.  
"ah, well-done Potter...I see you may have one brain cell in that tiny brain of yours" The Slytherins laughed at Snapes’ words but Harry stayed silently glaring at Snape.  
"very well...fifty points from Gryffindor" Harry gasped and immediately started arguing along-side all the other Gryffindors.  
"Enough! we will start now...any complaints and you can talk to me later...in detention" with that closing remark Snape turned on his heel and started his lesson.  
Harry tried to pay attention, honest he did! but he was just so god damn tired! He knew he looked like shit; his hair was a mess and he had bags under his eyes. he looked like one of the bums he'd seen around London!  
Sighing Harry glanced across only to find Malfoy staring at him, he raised an eyebrow questioningly but instead of the retort or a biting remark he was expecting Malfoy just shrugged and said "you look tired…" then his eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut and looked away angrily like his mouth had betrayed him. Harry sat with his mind reeling, of course, it wasn't a big deal anyone with eyes could see that he was practically dead on his feet! but still...Malfoy hadn't sounded happy at that, in fact, he almost had sounded.... sounded worried- no Harry cut himself off trying not to laugh, no that couldn't be it. Harry almost laughed out loud at the idea, he barely concealed his laugh and tried to cover it with a cough. but Malfoy heard and turned to face him.  
He seemed annoyed and his ugly scowl back was on his face as he sneered at Harry "Alright there scarhead something funny? maybe you were laughing at your failing grades or your inability to choose friends, a mudblood and a blood traitor, not exactly the best pick" he sneered it all spitting the end comment. Harry felt his whole body stiffen in anger, he could feel his anger rising, clenching and unclenching his fists, rolling his jaw he tries to remind himself it’s the middle of potions and that-  
"hey potty! cat got your tongue? or maybe a badger? As I recall you and pretty boy Diggory had a disgusting 'thing' didn’t you? you were very close..." he winks and Harry breaths deeply through his nose. In, out, in, out, don’t listen, in, out.  
"Oh, mummy and daddy must be so proud!" Harry growled slightly but Malfoy continued " a faggot as a son! How many people have died for you potty? How many people have you hidden behind? How many killing curses are you responsible for?" The whole class was silent and even Snape stood stock still staring at Harry waiting.  
" potty? whats wrong? you gonna cry?" He laughed bitterly as he watched Harry's face then lost his train of thought as those green eyes met his own, they were swimming with unshed tears, all the anger had left them and they looked strangely empty, accepting. He stared back grey eyes meeting green.  
" better scare mudblood and weasel away now or soon it will be them nobly leaping in front of the golden boy, giving their lives for the boy who lived " he tried to laugh " but that's what you want isn't it scarhead? You want the attention...you can't deal with being alone. What's wrong potter didn't you get enough love as a child? You're spoilt and selfish potter, they gave their lives for you! And this is how you repay them? I bet they're turning in their grave! " Malfoy ends his rant and the classroom is silent, deathly silent like the early morning when snow is falling, so crisp and sharp it feels like it could be cut with a knife. Its thick and engulfing. Malfoy stops his internal monologue and like everyone else stares at the boy sat staring at his hands. He opened his mouth to let out another angry and spiteful jab but closed his mouth as Potter sits up straight and pulls his shoulders back, a glistening trail runs from one eye and over his prominent cheekbone and finally to his chin, Draco realizes with a short intake of breath that he made potter cry. He shuffled uncomfortably slightly in his seat but continued to watch the boy. Potter stands slowly and the class collectively suck in a breath. Potter looked directly at Snape and opened his mouth " Severus...I must be excused" his voice is weary and husky, the fact that he uses Snape's first name leaves the teacher speechless for once and slowly the greasy man nods and Potter walks silently from the room his eyes fixed on the wall ahead. The class watches still silent as the door opens then closes.  
A gasp goes around the room then the whispers start. Malfoy looked around and realises nobody else knew Potter had cried he kept it to himself hoping to use it later. He glanced up feeling slightly remorseful but mostly proud. But as his gaze caught his Snape’s all he could see was a twinge of disappointment and sadness.  
Snape cleared his throat and all whispers stopped, Granger was sobbing quietly at the back of the room and weasel looked positively sick.  
"In light of this disturbance you may all leave" Snape sighed and sat at his desk, his pupils sat there unsure of the command  
"LEAVE!"  
Quickly the students scurried out of the classroom, Draco packed his bag and started for the door.  
" no, not you my child" Snape sighed again as Draco stopped before him.  
" what have you done boy? You stupid child! " Draco only gaped back at him.  
"You ... -you- I did not raise you like this. 50 points from Slytherin" he held a hand up to stop Draco's angry exclamations. " leave me Draco."  
Angry Draco turned and threw the door open before storming out of it. He starts to head down the corridor when he heard Potters lag dogs talking. Quickly he hid in the alcove and listened- He could hear a girl, that must be the mudblood, god he hopes so, sobbing.  
" Oh, Ron! Harry-he... " she cries again but its muffled the weasel must be hugging her, ew gross. A gruffer voice replies "c’mon Mione he'll be okay, he always is " to this Granger just sobs harder and he hears the pair shuffle.  
"why him Ron? Why does he have to be the chosen one? Why does everyone he loves have to die? Doesn't he deserve to be happy??" She keeps crying almost erratically now.  
"of course, he does Mione that's why he has us...c’mon let's go find him" Draco hears the pair shuffle away. He stands there awkwardly feeling as though he was imposing and thinking that maybe really, he'd gone too far this time.

\----------------------------------------

Harry walked quietly to his room, everyone was still in class so he didn’t encounter anybody. He entered the dorm and grabbed his invisibility cloak threw it over himself and picked up the map before leaving again. He marched back across the empty castle and stood in the corridor, His erratic breathing the loudest noise. He loved the castle like this. So silent and calm. Like the ocean on a good day. The waves would come as surely as the students would disrupt the peace and silence of the corridors. Shaking himself back to the present he thought clearly " give me a place to think" and after two more repetitions, the solid door appeared before him, with a happy sigh his hand reached forward and pressed against the warm oak as he pushed it inwards.  
He gazed around the room not taking it in. He stumbled into the room and the door closed softly behind him. He sighed and sat in the soft armchair in front of the fire. Only now did he look around, the room was …home. It had photographs of him and his family, his friends and soft chairs, a fire and a bed, it even had a bathroom! He gazed around but his eyes caught on the images, he smiled softly to himself then felt it slip and grow sour as he remembered Malfoys warning ‘soon it will be them nobly leaping in front of the golden boy, giving their lives for the boy who lived’. Just as fast as it came the smile disappeared and Harry sat there curled in the chair sucking in the air quickly trying to ground himself. It was true, what Malfoy had said. He shouldn’t be angry at him for saying what the others were too scared to say. His head was pounding quietly behind his eyelids. It was infuriating the steady ba dum ba bum. He hated it, so unchanged, so unrevealing, so black and white. Like a normal person. But he wasn’t normal. Not like he had wanted to be. He was a freak. He was broken. It was his fault. It was all his fault. They had died for him. They had died because of him.  
He didn’t know when he started crying, all he knew was that at some point he had because now the tears were fat and rolling down his cheeks. Sobs wracking his body, his hands grasping at his sides as the force of the sobs hurt his chest and he was struggling to breathe. He rocked back and forth slightly in the chair and let out an inhuman howl of pain and hurt. Standing he walked slowly to the mirror hanging on the wall above the fire. Staring at the face looking back at him, his face wet and disheveled, he looked weak. He hated it.  
“I hate you. It’s your fault. You did this. If you hadn’t been born, your mom and dad would still be alive and happy and Cedric and Si-Sirius would still be- and…and I hate you.” His sobs broke up his speech but he stared into his eyes as he spat it out. And he meant every word. He stared back at his face in disgust and raised his arm and brought back his fist. Seconds later the image crumpled and the shards of glass fell to the floor around him. He looked down at his hand and absentmindedly realised his hand was bleeding, he stretched his fingers: nothing broken. He felt strangely empty. He walked to the door picking up his cloak and threw it over himself and picking up the map. He walked to the door and opened it not looking back. If he had he would have seen that the room was destroyed. The furniture was torn and broken, the fire was roaring and devouring the wall where the mirror was. But perhaps the worst was the photographs. Every single one was the same. They were left untouched apart from one horrible detail. In every photo, Harry’s face was scratched out.  
But Harry left and never looked back.

\-------------------------------

Draco was sat in the library that night just starting his essay for Transfiguration, but he couldn’t concentrate so when Madam Pince came and shooed him out he had only done one of the eight inches required. He walked out into the corridor and started walking back to the dungeons when he realized that he didn’t really want to talk to Blaise and Pansy yet. Turning he started back into the opposite direction just letting his feet lead himself as his mind wandered. He thought back over the day and felt a spike of guilt as he remembered his harsh words to Potter. He didn’t know why he had lashed out at Potter, he was just caught off guard. ‘you look tired’ what the fuck! He shouldn’t have said that. He didn’t want Potter thinking he actually cared about him or something so he turned angrily and when the bitter hate speech had started spouting from his mouth he hadn’t realized until it was too late to stop. Draco shook himself and sneered. He was sure Potter would be fine! I mean he’s been through a lot worse. Draco felt positive that right now Potter was sat in the Gryffindor dorm pouting and getting sympathy or plotting Draco’s’ murder. He turned the corner and ran straight into Severus.  
“Severus what’s wrong?” he was shocked to see a worried and reckless look in the man’s normally composed eyes.  
“it’s Harry- I mean- potter, he’s missing” Severus whipped his brow and furrowed his eyebrows “you haven’t seen him, have you? This isn’t a joke Draco this is important!” he shook Draco by his shoulders his face just inches away.  
“no-no! I haven’t seen- missing since when?” Draco’s mouth was agape and his cheeks were red as he felt the guilt rise again.  
“since your little stunt in my class…three hours ago, we’ve looked everywhere!” just then McGonagall rounded the corner practically running into them.  
“Oh, Severus! We’ve found him!” without a word Snape turned and followed her leaving Draco thoroughly confused in the middle of the abandoned hallway. Slowly he turned and walked back to his dorm in a startled daze.

\--------------------------------------------------

Harry was silent and sitting in the courtyard staring up at the sky when Ron found him. Ron sighed in relief and ran to him and sat next to him silently. After a few moments of silence Ron spoke up in a quiet voice- “want to come inside mate?”.  
Harry nodded and the pair walked inside. Immediately he was rushed up by the teachers and asked what felt a million questions. To which he responded to quickly and tiredly; His excuse was that he was ill and decided to stay off the rest of the day in case it was contagious. At first, the teachers seemed unconvinced but as they took in his pale face and shallow cheeks and after a few convincing coughs they let him go with a stomach settler from the infirmary. Harry smiled at them and an audible sigh of relief echoed around the room. They continued to watch him for the next week, but everything seemed of the norm. he was laughing and joking with his friends. He and Malfoy ignored each other and stayed out of each other’s way. After that week all eyes were off him and Harry let the mask slide slightly, not enough for people to start asking ‘what’s wrong?’ just enough so that he wasn’t acting 24/7. 

\------------------------------------------

Smirking Draco stuck his tongue out at Blaise as they entered potions, they laughed as they talked and joked. Following Blaise, Draco went to sit down only to realise that due to their later entrance there was only enough room for one on their regular table which Blaise quickly dibbed. Sighing Draco walked to the spare table at the front. He put down his stuff and shot a glare at Zabini who shrugged apologetically and mimed buying him chocolate, now call him weak but Draco sure did love chocolate and well, it was his weakness. So, he nodded once then turned back around facing Snape, though they were ‘later’ the lesson still hadn’t started so when the golden trio entered they entered laughing and only spared Snape a glance before staring at the table. They had the same predicament only two could sit there. Their heads comically furrowed together and after what amusingly looked like a round of rock paper scissors, Potter sighed and looked around for a seat, Snape was getting restless as it was time to start, then Potter saw the empty seat next to Draco and instead of sighing or moaning he grinned and Draco gulped slightly before turning to face the front. Potter sat next to him and relaxed into the seat.  
The lesson continued without any outburst and the boys worked together silently. Potter stayed positively cheery it was…terrifying. Draco shivered slightly. Potter turned to face him-  
“cold Malfoy? Or is that someone dancing on your grave someday?” Draco sighed and turned facing him. okay so here it comes. He couldn’t get angry. After all that he said to Potter, he’s allowed to give some back.  
“what Malfoy no retort?” Potter paused and waited until the class was silent.  
“Hey, Malfoy? Where’s daddy?” he paused “oh yeah, I remember he’s in Azkaban still isn’t he, where he belongs. But wait hasn’t your good friend the dark lord got him out yet?” Draco stiffened in anger, don’t get angry, don’t get angry.  
“Little Dragon, that’s what Draco means, isn’t it? What was your mother, a whore? That’s a prostitute name if I’ve ever heard one” the class gasp and Draco grips the edge of the table.  
“heyyyyy dray it’s okay I’m sure mommy loves you. It’s just you and her now.” He smiles “oh wait…no it's not. Who is it Malfoy? Who’s your new daddy? See I think she got sick of you and realised your dads a dropkick. So come on, tell me at least I have a mother and that blah blah blah….I don’t care about that, at least mine died before I could let them down in every single way possible, how many people are you gonna kill? How many of your schoolmates? Your teachers? Innocent people? Children? When you take the mark. And when you betray us Malfoy I’ll be the one to carve out your heart.” Draco stood his heart thumping in his chest as he looked at the desk in front of him and as the bell rang he was the first out of the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Time passed quickly between lessons and the boys harsh banter. Their classmates started taking bets on who would break first. The Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and half of Ravenclaw said Malfoy but the other half and of course Slytherin said, Potter.  
The boys kept up their banter both getting closer to their breaking point. And whilst all this was going on Harry continued to have the dreams that plagued him. now the ordeal to start with the ghosts seemed less scary and the fact that he had to enter his own personal hell each night wore him down to the bone. He would arrive in the torturous place and be put up on the rack where he would be met with Alistair. Each night would be a new torture and would last what felt a year. Tonight, as Harry climbed into bed he was drop dead exhausted and as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out. As he stood in front of the veil he cursed himself, he’d been forcing himself to stay awake for the past three days but he’d done it now! Cursing he waited for the ghosts of his past to approach. They said their piece and now instead of fear all Harry felt was acceptance and sadness, there is only so long someone can go being told the same thing over and over again until they believed it.  
He landed in hell and was put onto the rack, he didn’t even struggle now. He knew there was no escape. As soon as he was up and secured he felt the familiar pain of the blade being sliced and parting his skin. Then just as soon as it came the knife was gone.  
“now then...harry. Are you getting used to the ghosts? Oh yes, I know everything down here. Okay…new torture for tonight” he clicked his fingers with a grin and suddenly Harry felt the pull of a portkey. When he opened his eyes, he was in a small familiar looking room. He walked out and into the corridor that’s where a woman almost ran into him, he gasped as he looked upon her face and ran down the corridor just to see his father being struck down by the flash of green. Turning he retreated back to the-no his bedroom and watched as his mother was slaughtered after pleading for his life to be spared. Next, he was in the old graveyard watching as Cedric stepped in front of him to protect him from the approaching strangers, he waited for the tell-tale flash of green and as it came Harry felt all the pain he had on that night, but now it was worse as the fear and rage was gone, it was just the pain. Sobbing harry was pulled into the most recent memory Sirius falling, even though he knew it was pointless he still yelled out and tried to pull him back only to be pulled into the veil with him. this time the pain he felt was earth-shattering. New scenes flew past him: Ginny lying almost dead in the chamber of secrets, Ron with his broken leg in the shack. Then ones that he didn’t recognise: Goyle falling to flames, Remus and Tonks dead for him, Hermione and Ron with a huge snake flying towards them, George crying over the body of his twin. He gasped and reeled backward moaning, the distant sound of Alistair laughing. But still, he refused to scream.  
He woke with a gasp, tears, and sweat pouring down his face and drenching his sheets. He moaned and rolled himself into a ball where he sobbed and held back screams. His hands clawing at his arms and face.

Not worthy.  
His fault.  
Useless.  
A burden.  
A murderer.

His fault.


	5. Epicentre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a bit of a delay been on holiday and super busy but ill try to upload like once a week if i can :)

When Harry’s tears finally stopped flowing he steadied himself with a few heavy pants. Then he looked down at himself. He had clawed the skin off his arms in long scratched lines. His fingertips and nails were covered in dry blood and had pieces of skin and flesh from his arms under them. He winced and felt his face tinge. He sighed and reached for his wand and quickly transfigured his pillow into a mirror as he leaned against the headboard. He felt strangely empty as he looked at the long gashes that covered the area around his eyes. They were bloody and deep gouges that couldn’t be mistaken as anything other than claw marks. Holding his wand tightly he methodically cleaned his hands, arms, and face, removing the blood. He looked at the deep gashes and realized that he could hide the ones on his arms but not on his face. He debated trying to heal them himself but quickly disregarded the idea. He lines traced his body like artwork, tracing them lightly he summoned a house elf and asked them for bandages and salve after making them swear to tell no-one what he looked like. Seconds later the house elf reappeared fat tears rolling off his cheeks as he handed the medical set over then he disapperated with a pop.  
Quickly Harry applied the salve and bandaged his arms. Then he sighed as he stared at his face in the mirror, this would be harder to hide. Finally, he settled on putting a glamour over the gashes but nothing else. As soon as he finished he heard Ron get up from beside him and tucked the med box under his pillow, he yawned convincingly and pulled back his curtains.  
“Hey mate!” Harry grinned.  
“...morning, you’re happy Harry. Sleep well?” Ron looked slightly suspiciously at Harry.  
Harry laughed and stood up, stretching “yeah really well” he lied.  
Then he continued to get changed telling Ron that he showered last night and tried to hide his discomfort as the cuts rubbed against his clothes. They walked down to the great hall laughing and met Hermione halfway who also noted Harry’s good mood. With one look between Ron and Hermione, they silently agreed to try and make it last.  
Breakfast was a cheery ordeal and Harry was the one telling most jokes. He was full of life and seemed to be back to normal. Harry deliberately ignored Malfoy, much to his growing irritation if his scowl was anything to go by and tried to keep up his facade. It lasted through-out breakfast and Harry was slightly proud that no-one had noticed that he was faking it. 

But just as they were leaving Malfoy and his cronies sped to catch up and as Harry was heading through the door Malfoy slammed into his side ripping off the few scabs that had formed and reopened all the cuts. Hissing through the pain Harry shoved him back into the hall, he could feel the blood welling up and hoped that it wouldn’t come through the bandages. Malfoy yelled at him and jeered, and due to his lack of sleep Harry couldn’t help it, he saw red. Hermione and Ron were trying to calm him down as well as half the Gryffindors trying to prevent the loss of any more points. But Harry simply pushed them away with a sweep of his hand and entered back into the hall, his eyes flashing and a wind blowing around the hall, around him he felt lightning crackle and quickly everyone backed away apart from Malfoy who stood there looking as cocksure as always. Growling Harry began to pace trying to control himself he could feel his magic brewing beneath the surface and tried desperately to harness it and to push it down to prevent an outburst, finally, he thinks that he just about has it under control and the wind all but stops. That is until, He walks towards the door only to be hit by a curse from behind, spinning he doesn’t even realise that he had reached for his magic until it all brews over, out of control and the hall door slams shut, the windows smash and it starts to rain. Inside the hall! Big fat raindrops splattering the floor, normally this would cause mayhem but everyone just stayed silent watching the two boys, as the windows exploded the teachers tried to run forward only to be frozen as Harrys eye brushes over them. Harry stares at Malfoy who still has that stupid sneer on his face. He walks slowly towards him and doesn’t even pull out his wand. His magic is so close to the surface he doesn’t need something to harness it. The boys stand mere meters away and then Malfoys speaks up   
“control yourself, potter. What are you an eight-year-old! Accidental magic is for children and---” his mouth kept moving but no words emerged as Harry raised a single finger to his lips.   
“It’s not accidental Malfoy if you want it to happen” Even as he says it Harry knows it’s a lie, sure he’s angry but he feels too powerful too dangerous and he can tell his magic is about to erupt. Malfoy gasps and yells in outrage as he realizes he can speak again. With a twitch of his hand, Harry creates a dome around them letting neither leave until he says so and meaning none of the other students would be harmed.   
Growling, he retreats to the edge of the dome afraid of his power and unable to control it. The wind whips faster around the two of them and out the corner of his eye he can see the pupils terrified, scared, of him. He can see Ron and Hermione shouting at him but he can’t make out what they are saying, he watches as the teachers shoot multiple spells at the dome trying to dismantle it. Finally, he looks at Malfoy, he’s the only one that doesn’t look afraid and Harry sadly smiles as he thinks ‘he really should be’. 

\---

Draco could feel the edge of the dome behind him and despite feeling bloody terrified he refused to show it, because although Slytherins were known for their need for self-preservation, most important to them was that they would never show weakness in front of their enemy, no matter what. So, as he continued to sneer and jeer at Potter he probed the dome with his wand hoping to find any weak spot until he realised it was useless and that he wasn’t getting out until Potter deemed fit. Huffing he marched over towards Potter only to be stopped by another gust of wind pushing him backward. Here he studied the boy because Potter despite his role in the wizarding world was still just a boy, not a man just a child. And at this moment, he looked at it. Potter was sat at the edge of the dome with his knees bought up to his chest rocking slightly and murmuring a name that sounded like Alistair, Draco had no idea who that was but stored it away for later examination. Potters hands were shaking as he grabbed and pulled at his hair and his eyes were closed, with a step back Draco realised that Potter’s wand was by his feet, and yet the dome still stood and the wind still raged, moreover Potter had his eye’s closed. Was he seriously not in control of what was happening? Although Draco had spat at him earlier about wandless magic he didn’t realise Potter was actually adept at it, either that or he was out of control. Draco paled as he realises the dire situation, Potter was good at defense against the dark arts but even he wouldn’t be able to do wandless magic at this level, which meant option 2, he was out of control and would be dangerous. Up until this point, Draco had remained worried sure, but not scared he knew that as stupid Potter was, he wasn’t evil or malicious, he was the golden boy and so wouldn’t hurt Draco that badly, but know he was out of control and Draco knew his magic wouldn’t hold back. And all Draco could do was wait. 

\-----

Harry was lost, his magic seemed to be crashing over his conscious mind making it hard for him to determine reality from fantasy. His whole body seemed to be throbbing as his power pulsated through him. Outside the dome all he could see was darkness, but inside the dome was his nightmare. It seemed to change every 5 minutes. First, he was back at Godric's’ Hollow watching that Halloween night on repeat, and when it finally ended the ghosts of his parents surround him, a ghostly parody of the reflection in the mirror of erised all those years ago. Next was the graveyard with Cedric, watching him be killed for no reason apart from being there, “kill the spare” echoed through his head and he could hear himself muttering the words. And finally, there came Sirius but before the death, he stood at the base of the whomping willow, he could see the castle in the distance and stood beneath the stars. He sobbed quietly willing the scene to move on, but he was frozen and had to watch and wait as Sirius asked him to come and live with him. Then and only then did the scene move to Sirius’ death, to remind him of what he had lost not just his godfather but their life and future together. Throughout it, all Harry could hear Alistair’s low chuckle and wondered what reality was. 

\------

After an hour of pacing and watching Potter become slowly frailer and frailer as he stared off into random spaces whilst seemingly talking gibberish, Draco had had enough. He was stuck in this stupid dome because of Potter and Potter had better get him out right now. Draco planned on trying to evoke a reaction to break the trance that Potter seemed stuck in but every eventuality he imagined led to him getting injured or killed so he waited. The pupils had all been evacuated and only the weasel and hairball remained, they stayed knelt by Potter talking to him trying to reach out and make him listen. The teachers also remained and were worried for both of the boys and kept pacing around the dome flicking their wands to no end. Draco sighed, he just wanted to get out, he was tired and hungry he didn’t eat much at breakfast and now he regretted it. Also, he was starting to feel cold in his bones, almost achy and he hoped to god that wasn’t Potter’s fault. Marching as close to Potter as he could he shouted and demanded to be let out, for Potter to get a hold of himself and yet it seemed Potter couldn’t hear him or at least he gave no indication of being able to hear Draco, which obviously pissed Draco off. Pushing against the wind he struggled towards Potter willing to just punch him in his stupid face to try and get it to stop but as he was struggling to get closer, the wind suddenly stopped. He looked at Potter assuming it was him who had let him closer but Potter still had his eyes closed and did not acknowledge Draco in any way. So, Draco stepped closer and it felt like he was stepping into a bubble suddenly he wasn’t in the dome or in the great hall, he was stood in a shabby but comfortable-looking house, staring at a woman’s corpse cold on the floor. Taken aback he blanched at the sight and could do nothing but stare in shock. He was broken out of his trance by the screaming of a baby, startled he looked up and saw a child no older than 1, reaching for his mother’s body. Slowly the realisation dawned on Draco and he felt guilty for being here, he looked at the baby with the fresh lightening scar and for the first time, felt guilty for the things he had said about Harry’s parents, he didn’t realise the boy was there, he didn’t know the boy could remember it. Backing away and shaking his head to try to remove the guilt he suddenly felt a pull and when he opened his eyes he was somewhere different. He didn’t recognise the place but as he looked around he quickly came to the conclusion that he did not want to be there, the graveyard was cold and felt saturated with dark magic. He shivered slightly and looked around, knowing Harry would have some reason for being here. The silence of the yard was broken as the words “kill the spare” seemed to echo and repeat around the yard. Draco turned startled just in time to see a flash of green and the Cedric boy’s Corpse falling at a younger Harry’s feet. The words “kill the spare” seemed to resonate and bounce around Draco’s skull as he ran to the body trying to find any sign of life, to help if he could but as soon as he reached the body he was somewhere else again. By this point, Draco had reached the conclusion that these must be Harry’s worst memories so what came next surprised him. Harry being embraced by Sirius Black, Black asking Harry to live with him and Harry agreeing happily. Confused Draco looked around for the tragedy sure to happen but the moment seemed to linger as the two men hugged. Draco felt awkward and imposing so looked away and by the time he looked back he was in the ministry of magic but in a dark room he didn’t recognise. Curious Draco looked around and saw an older Harry and Black again, this time though they were fighting side by side. He could see his father and aunt Bella fighting against them and he couldn’t help but almost cheer for Harry after what he had seen much to his immediate distaste. When the fight drew to a close, the pair were smiling and Draco stepped back unsure of himself only he saw the curse Bella shot at Black. He watched as Harry’s whole world seemed to fall apart and Black fell back into a walkway area. The look of pain on Harry’s face was too much and Draco had to look away, this wasn’t right. They were enemies sure and despite the ammunition, this could have supplied Draco with for their future fights all he could think was I should not have seen this. 

Through the course of the memories, Draco found himself planted in, he continued to try to press forward and as the memories flashed before his eyelids his hands reached and searched for anything solid. So, as the final memory still seared in his mind his hands reached out and grabbed Harry’s shoulders. However, as soon as his hands touched Harry he was blown backward. Groaning he rolled onto his side and tenderly touched his ribs which he felt at least 3 were broken, maybe more. He couldn’t move his leg and his vision had dark spots dancing across it. But before he passed out he looked up to see Harry stood in the middle of the great halls devastation, the dome destroyed by his outburst. The man, Draco no longer classified as a boy, was stood alone looking haggard with tears streaking his face and empty eyes. But worse of all were the deep painful looking cuts that streaked his face and arms. The cuts looked old and had already began to scab over, telling all witnesses that Harry was in more trouble than any of them had realised. Harry took one step towards his friends before promptly collapsing but Draco didn’t see if he hit the floor as his eyes were already closed.


End file.
